Defiled Conception // The Shepherd and Possibly Eleventh Doctor?

No. Absolutely not. Sitting along the railing of her TARDIS, Siren felt a stirring inside of her as her hearts began to race, her mind began to blur, and everything around her became immediately silenced by her interrupting thoughts. This wasn't right... she couldn't possibly have had a child with another man. It obviously meant something had happened between her and the Doctor... or something happened to her and someone else. A number of possibilities came through her head. Was she cheating? No, she'd never cheat on him, she loved him so dearly... what about rape? She was pretty confident in her ability to handle herself well enough not to. What happened then?

Across the console room, her eye locked onto the holster to her gun. Looking at it for a long moment, the only things she could hear was her breaths against her heart beats. Slowly getting herself up, she walked over to the gun, looking at it for a long moment, taking it in and with a deep breath, she nodded in agreement with herself. She couldn't allow herself to fall to the measures of temptation... she had to stop whoever it was that she'd have this child with, before it was too late.

Taking a deep breath, she remembered clearly what The Shepherd had told her earlier. Sometime around your 620'th birthday. Nodding, she sighed, quickly plugging in the information, seeing if she could trace where she might be. Why would I be on Zargus? she thought to herself. Sighing and shaking it off, she quickly plugged in the destination and headed straight for there. Upon arriving, she noticed that it was quite restless here. People were anxious and she could feel it. Putting a mask over her face, she did her best so no one would recognize her.

Walking around for a long time, she then noticed a woman in a long, black dress that was walking with a man whom had curled, ash brown hair. Quite dapper for someone walking around on a refuge planet. When the woman had taken her bonnet of, she immediately recognized that it was herself. The man had taken her hand and kissed it and Siren immediately reacted by putting her gun up, pointing at him. "Stop! You don't touch her..." she said quickly. The two separated quickly and her hands trembled for a moment. Do it... do it...

Tears threatening to escape from the corners of his eyes, The Shepherd was in indefinite panic mode. It took all the pleading ability he had to get the Doctor to take him to that fateful day on Zargus to stop Siren from making a huge mistake. Whether or not she was actually going to kill the man whom was his father, he wasn't sure, but all he knew was that she was planning to interrupt their relationship so that it would not happen.

When the Doctor had finally agreed, they both had entered the TARDIS without speaking a word. He could feel the tension between them. After all, he was the child of his lover, and not him. That was not something to take too kindly, and he just prayed he didn't ruin their relationship too badly... he did not want to imagine how Siren would react if they were separated again.

When they had finally made it to Zargus, the doors to the TARDIS opened and he took a deep breath. Looking back at the Doctor desperately, he shook his head. "You have to come with me..." he started taking several steps out of the TARDIS. Whether or not the Doctor followed, he was not sure. He was more preoccupied by the site he was seeing. His mother, pointing a gun at herself and another man. "No!" he quickly screamed. "Stop it! Mother, stop it!"

Turning her head to see the man who called himself her son come toward her, she immediately dropped the gun, tears spewing from her eyes as she felt herself crumble to her knees. "I wasn't going to... I couldn't do it..." she quivered as she quickly spilled the bullets out of her gun as proof, and then returned it to the holster of her belt.

Getting herself back up after a moment of defeat, she looked back over at them. "Why though... I don't understand why this is happening..." she tried to think about it in her head, but nothing seemed to fit into place. The man who was standing next to her grew up to be her son (and holy crap I just realized how similar Paul McGann and Ryan Gosling look) and then back at the man who was standing in fright next to her other self.

"You have the same eyes," she said quietly, looking at him. "He is your father..." But why? Stepping toward the two of them slowly, she noticed slight hesitance in the couple that had been scared to death of her. Turning to herself she bit her lip. "What happened to the Doctor?" The woman's face filled with dread as she shook her head. "He left."

No. Fear flickered in Siren's eyes as she looked back at The Shepherd. Angrily stepping toward him, she crossed her arms. "Where is he. Tell me where he is, now, or I will stop them from having that child." She felt the bitterness in her words echo in her head with spite as she continued to watch him with a gaze so piercing, she felt as though she was looking right through him.

Upon seeing his mother's weakened stature as she had dropped her gun to the ground, The Shepherd quickly approached her, putting his hands on her shoulders as he rested his head against her. "No, you're okay, I knew you wouldn't... I knew you wouldn't..." he kept saying, trying to assure her that he didn't think she was a murderer.

Helping her back up, she had started to look at them and then back to himself, to which he took a step back, wondering what she was thinking. "You have the same eyes," she had said to him, to which he looked over at his "father" and smiled faintly. "I suppose we do..." and suddenly Siren was approaching them. This can't be good... he said to himself, but he stopped himself from trying to interrupt them.

Very quietly, he overheard what she had asked herself, and when her future self had replied with "he left", he saw the malice fill up in her eyes. When she quickly flickered a stare that he could feel against him, burning him, he immediately felt his hearts pick up in speed. "I--I don't know--" he lied quickly. But she knew. Oh she knew, that he was lying.

Finally giving in, his throat thickened up as his lip trembled a bit... she was going to get it out of him whether he liked it or not. Otherwise, she was going to kill him indirectly. Taking a deep sigh, he couldn't look her in the eyes as he spoke. "He goes to war," he said lowly. "He goes to the one place he should never go." There was a silence as he finally looked up at her. "He goes to Trenzalore."

Demory's eyes widened upon hearing the words that came out of him. "No... no, he couldn't have gone there, he said he never would himself..." her eyes went down to the ground. Rule number one. The Doctor Lies. Looking back up, she gave him a painful smile and nodde. "I see... well, thank you." she looked back at the couple and nodded. "I never caught your name, either... if you are my son."

Slowly taking a few steps toward her TARDIS, she felt a tear slide down her face. "He's all alone." She couldn't believe that this was happening. "He's all alone on that forsaken planet trying to defend it." When she finally made her way to the TARDIS, her hand lightly traced across the handle as she took a deep breath. Turning back to the Shepherd, her smile turned into a dreading frown.

"I have to find him," her face lowered. "I can't let him go alone..."

Upon seeing the pain in his mother's face, he felt his hearts sink. He had been hurting his mother so much and he felt terrible for it. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. He had then heard his mother asking for what his name was. What was she doing? She sounded as if she was saying goodbye. "...It's Doryntor," he said quietly, "...What are you doing?"

When she had finally said she had to go after him, he froze as his face went white. "No, you can't go there, you'll die!" his voice rose quickly. "Do you have any idea what will happen when you try to go!? There are fleets of daleks, cybermen, and The Silence waiting for him to make his move! When they see another Time Lord is involved... they'll kill you indefinitely. You cannot go."

Taking notice that she wasn't going to listen based on her expression upon her face, he started to breathe heavily in panic as he quickly shook his head. "No, no, no, Doctor!" he called back toward the TARDIS. "Please, Doctor, she's going to die if you don't stop her!" he felt the tears break onto his cheeks finally. His voice choked as he tried to speak. "Please, you're the only one who can stop her!"

(We shall see if he decides to join in or not. If he doesn't this is going to be very difficult to stop lmao)

The Doctor was sitting in the chair near the console in his Tardis. He'd very grudgingly agreed to help Shepherd find his mother before she did anything rash, but now that he was here, he couldn't bring himself to follow the young man out. She cheated. Why should you go out to see her? The voice in his head was very hard to ignore.

He heard Shepherd yelling, and the Doctor found that he secretly hoped he wouldn't succeed in stopping her. Of course, he didn't have anything against the book, but to look at him was to look the betrayal straight in it's face. He hated the man that had stolen his one love with all his being. It was a very close hatred to that of which he held for the Daleks.

His head snapped up when he heard his name being screamed. Joy, he thought sarcastically, I'm needed again. He slowly got up and dragged his feet out the Tardis doors, looking at the ground the whole time, and leaned on the door frame. Without looking at them, he called out in a quiet voice he was sure she would hear. "Demory, please." He tried to keep the pain out of his voice, but he heard his words come out sounding slightly tortured.

Upon hearing the Shepherd's pleas on how she would die if she went, she snapped her head back at him, shaking it. "You think I'm stupid? You think I'll die upon entering? I know what becomes of me, Doryntor. I know how I die. And I do not die at Trenzalore." she glared at him as she went to open her TARDIS doors.

Suddenly though, she heard a voice call out to her. It was the Doctor, and she froze where she was as she watched her hands attempting to open her TARDIS. Her breathing stopped and she felt her hearts sink as she slowly turned her head to the man who probably hated her right now. "I have to go," she said in a cracked, weakened voice.

She had no idea what she wanted to do now. Her mind was pleading her to stay and talk to him, but at the same time, it was begging her to go and find him before he leaves... or to at least follow him there. "You go somewhere you don't want me to follow, and I have to follow you there. I can't let you do it alone..."

"Just because you're not supposed to die there doesn't mean you won't!" The Shepherd retorted quickly. "You can still die before that, but it just means your regeneration is deactivated!" he felt himself getting slightly angered, but tried to pull back on it. "Whether you know me or not, I'm still your son, and if you do this, I still will never be born! You're losing everything if you go. Your life, me, the Doctor--you'll never see him again! You'll die permanently!"

Looking back to see if her future self and her lover had still been there, he noticed that they had been gone. Sighing in relief that they weren't making a scene in front of herself, he then turned to the Doctor. "Please, stop her. If you heard anything, you'd know she never cheated on you. You left her to go into battle and told her you'd never see her again. She tried to move on! You cannot let her go!"

He listened to the two arguing, not making an attempt to intervene. Demory's words were like shards to his hearts. No matter how hard he tried, he could never hate that woman. He knew he would always forgive her, because she always forgave him. Sighing, he wiped a hand under his eyes, catching the stray tears there. He then looked up at Demory, after being told to convince her. He watched her for a moment as she tried to unlock her Tardis. "Don't go. Please, just this once, don't die because of me." he pleaded, trying not to sound too desperate. He would never forgive himself if she went and got herself killed on Trenzalor. That was his job.

He bit his lip and looked at Shepherd, who seemed on the verge of tears as ell. The Doctor sniffles lightly and forced out a chuckle. "You'd think seeing her son cry would be enough to stop her."

Upon hearing the Doctor's words, she felt her hand drop from the handle of the door. Those words pierced her chest as though she was being struck by a sword. Don't die because of me rung through her head for a long, painful moment as she felt herself weaken a bit. Being in the same place as her future self was not exactly easy. It was quite draining with the time streams mixing and all...

She felt herself getting angry again, but she held it off, looking to the Shepherd, and mouthing 'I'm sorry' to him. She then looked back at the doctor, immediately stepping toward him desperately with a face full of pain and rage. "You! You're the one who needs to stop dying, just this once, don't die!" she stumbled over herself from her weakened legs, falling into him as she quickly wrapped her arms around him to balance herself. As she sobbed into his chest, she shook her head. "You need to stop dying on me..."

Wiping the tears away quickly, he took a step back from the two of them. Looking at her as she had stumbled lightly by her TARDIS she shook her head. "She's too weak. Being within two time streams is draining her." She then completely broke down to the Doctor's words, begging him to stop dying and he knew that his work here was done. He had finished his job, and she wasn't going to go.

Turning to the Doctor, he nodded. "Thank you," he said very quietly, before watching the events unfold. Siren had then moved toward him, still crying as she then fell into him. "She needs to get out of here... and you need to talk to her..." he said quietly. "Please get her out of here... I can fly her TARDIS quite well."

He blinked in surprise when Demory suddenly exploded at him, and then fell on him. He stared in fear and shock straight in front of him, his jaw clenching slightly. Slowly, his arms wrapped around her waist. Blinking a few times, he realized that he was crying again, and he laughed. "I have too many people that are out for my head. They just don't agree with me saving people.", he sighed. He definitely could never let her see him be hurt ever again. She just reacted too strongly to those things. Looking up at the sky, he made a vow to never show his true feelings if it would hurt Demory.

He looked down at Shepherd when he spoke. He nodded and bent down so he could pick Demory up. He started to walk towards his Tardis, then turned around to look at Shepherd once more. "Are you going to be alright?", he asked, frowning. He felt a strange protectiveness towards him. And also, the weirdest thing, the moment he'd stepped out of his Tardis, he'd felt a weakening as well. He hadn't realized at the time, but it had definitely been there.

Still crying into his chest, she felt herself picked up by him, but she barely reacted to it. She felt as though she was zoning out as she looked around. Her future self was out of sight, but she could still feel her presence. Her hands were trembling around the Doctor's neck as she was trying to stop herself from crying.

"You can't die again..." she kept mumbling to herself. She found it hard to concentrate on the situation as her mind became quite scrambled and went into shock from the sudden weakening of her body. "I need to save you..."

Seeing the worry in the Doctor's eyes brought a sense of relief to the Shepherd as he nodded. "I know how to fly it pretty well. I'll take it back to Torchwood and it'll be waiting for her there. I don't think she should fly it for a while... at least until she's back on her feet and able to comprehend everything normally," he sighed. Heading inside of the TARDIS, he looked back at them one last time.

"She's been through enough tonight... I think she deserves a bit of comfort," he nodded. "I know you do too." He then closed the doors behind him as he began to flip the levers and press buttons around the consoles as the TARDIS disappeared. He set in the coordinates for Torchwood.

(alrighty, Shepherd is outta this now. If you guys wanna keep going, feel free. Like to talk things out and what not xD)

He was feeling the drain more and more now, so he just nodded once Shepherd had finished talking. Was another version here as well? He stumbled through the open doors of his Tardis, carrying Demory to the infirmary. Laying her down on the bed there, he checked her over. Shock, he noted, Food. She needs sugar in her system. He walked to the kitchen and put the kettle on. He took out some cookies when the tea was ready and brought up a cup with a plate of cookies.

He placed them on the counter and sat on the chair next to the bed she was lying on. He looked up at her, feeling rather drained. Frowning he thought of what could have taken so much power from him. He'd barely done anything.

All she could see at that moment was the lights of the TARDIS flashing around her when she had then been laid down in the infirmary area. Laying back in the bed, she could hear the Doctor in the background doing something, although she wasn't sure what. Was he making something? She took a deep, sharp breath in pain.

Seeing him next to her, her hand tried to reach for him, but she didn't want to move too much or she'd get dizzy again. She kept her eyes open slightly, just watching him as she had finally stopped crying, just watching him with pursed lips.

He saw her hand twitch towards his slightly, but pretended not to. He was thinking about it again. Don't do it, the better side of him murmured, it won't do any good to anyone. Shut up, he replied. This was just perfect, he was talking to himself now. First sign of insanity, his mind chanted back.

Snapping out of it, he looked up a her face to see her watching him with pursed lips. Frowning he looked away and started playing with the lint on his jacket sleeve. "Why are you looking at me like that?" he mumbled.

He wasn't reaching for her in response and it made her feel absolutely horrible. Frowning, she looked away from him after he had spoken. "I wasn't trying to look at you in any way," her voice cracked. Her hand that was still reaching for him lost its strength as it then fell off the side of the bed, hanging there. She gave a small sigh and looked away.

"I'm sorry." she finally said after a moment. She wasn't quite sure what all she was apologizing for. One part because she had no idea this would happen, another because of how stupid and selfish she was acting, and then she also was apologizing because of how these events had unfolded. "I honestly don't deserve any of this, or you."

Trying to pull her hand back onto the bed, she found it troublesome. She gave up, letting it dangle for a moment, shaking her head as she bit her lip, trying to avoid the wetness in her eyes from escaping onto her cheeks. "I'm such a screw up," she murmured to herself. "I don't blame you for not wanting to look at me..." she looked away from him, closing her eyes as she took a deep, sharp breath from the threatening pit in her stomach that made her want to cry. "I don't even want to look at me."

He was doing it again. Hurting her. No matter what he did, he just kept hurting her. But at that moment, he didn't feel as sorry as he should. Yes, he knew he'd made a promise only moments ago to basically not do anything to hurt her ever again, but he couldn't help feeling betrayed. He really was trying to push it down, but his feelings were getting the best of him.

Taking a deep breath, he brought her hand to her side instead of answering. He felt a suspicious burn in his throat, and didn't trust himself to speak. Swallowing with a slight difficulty, he cleared his throat. "Don't... Just..." He took another breath after trying, and failing, to form some kind of coherent sentence. Closing his eyes, he tried again. "Don't torture yourself over this, it hasn't even happened yet." he managed to whisper.

His eyes opened again, and he walked over to one of the stainless steel counters stocked with medical supplies. In the reflective surface, he saw that his eyes were red. He sniffled once, and looked away angrily, hating how easily his emotions were shown.

Hearing him speak made the lump in her throat thicker, and she found it hard to focus on anything. Her eyes stared forward as she just listened to the thoughts in her head ramble away about things she barely understood. She felt the malice that was manifesting off of the Doctor project itself onto her, and it made her feel sick to her stomach.

"It hasn't happened," her voice was so weak that it came out as a harsh whisper. "But it does happen... but I swear, I was not unfaithful, she says you left... she said it..." she shook her head, using she as a reference to her future self. "You left me... you go away," she said quietly to herself. "I can't let him go alone though..."

He flinched as her words stabbed him. He knew it happened, of course he did. The proof was Shepherd. The son that could have been his. Before the DNA test, he'd really liked the boy. He found they had more in common than most. But now, whenever he looked at him, all he saw was the product of the love between Demory and another man.

When she mumbled that she wouldn't let his future self go alone, he looked up. "You have to. You can't come, that's not how it's supposed to happen." His mind scattered, frantically searching for something to say that would convince her to stay. He knew he met his death at Trenzalore. He'd come to terms with it. But he wouldn't be able to let himself die if he had to protect Demory. If he died, then who would be there to save her? No, she definitely had to stay out of it.

"I won't tell you when I go. I don't want you there." he went on, his tone a bit harsh. He felt his control on his anger slip slightly. He wasn't angry at her, no, for her he felt betrayal and sadness, and basically a lot of pain, despite her promising that she hadn't been unfaithful. No, his anger was directed to the man who was the father. He hadn't seen him, he couldn't bring himself to look at the couple before, but anger and jealousy burned inside for that man.

He instantly felt bad for projecting his anger to her. Frowning he rubbed his forhead and tapped the table with nervous fingers. "Look, I'm sorry..." he mumbled, looking at the ground, "It's just, well... I'm sure you know for sure that you weren't... cheating, but, just... Um, just look at it from my perspective, right? Say Shepherd was my kid with someone else, but you were the one to go the Trenzalore, and you left me behind. Wouldn't you still feel at least a little betrayed? Think about it." He'd had a very hard time finding his words, but once he'd started, it just all came out. "I... Never mind. I'll let you rest." he sighed dejectedly and turned to walk out the door.

She knew how he felt. After that little episode of him taking trying to take her memory, she left and she doubted she'd ever want to see him again and took faith in that. He ended up getting married and he couldn't deny that he cared about her. Still, this was not the time to be arguing about who was worse. She forgave him every time for his faults.

But when he had said he wouldn't tell her when he would go, a flicker of fear came through her eyes as they widened slightly and she rustled a bit in her bed, pushing herself up weakly in a sitting position as she simply stared at him in disbelief. "You promised," her hush, disappearing voice came out in a whisper. "You promised you wouldn't do that."

When he had gotten himself up to leave, she felt a coldness come over her as she shook her head. "No, no, please don't leave," she said as loudly as she could. It only came out in squeaks and was stifled. "Please, Doctor, don't go..."

"If that's what it takes to keep you away from there...", he muttered, more to himself than anything. He was still trying to convince himself to break that promise. And even though he stood with his back turned to her and couldn't see her expression, her voice was enough to make him wince.

When Demory asked him not to leave, he slowly turned, feeling his control crumble to pieces in front of him. "Why? What would you like me to say, that it doesn't matter? That it doesn't have any impact on me?" he asked desperately. Yes, control definitely slipping... "Well, I am sorry, but I can't lie to you like that. I cannot say that this doesn't matter, because it does. I can't say that it doesn't have an impact on me, because right now, I'm about this close to going out and killing that man myself." he held up his hand with his index and thumb very close together. Running a hand through his hair, he leaned on the counter.

"Doctor, I'm not asking you to stop caring about it, or to let it go, I'm simply asking that you please stay here with me..." she frowned, trying her hardest to make her voice push through the whisper. When he had mentioned he was close to killing that man though, she felt a clump in her stomach form, realizing just how possessive he was of her.

"Doctor...you left... you expect me to never move on..?" she couldn't help but ask. Even after she had left him, he found himself marrying and having feelings for River. She wasn't really sure how to react to him saying such dark words. "Y-you would never actually kill him... I know you wouldn't..."